I had so much more confidence before this year.
I don’t believe in bad luck but I might have to reconsider it.
Honestly, all my friends have drifted.
I don’t know, it seems like every year I lose friends. We drift slowly. I guess I’m not interesting enough to keep around. I feel like everyone is replacing and ignoring me, I feel so abandoned… alone more than ever. I want a best friend who will never drift from me. Though I know that’s not how it works. You can’t make your friends be your friend forever. You just have to let go. That’s what I’m doing. I miss all my friends, and I will always care for them no matter how much we’ve drifted, no matter what. They still have a place in my heart, I’m hoping I still have a place in their hearts too. I never even thought of how many friends I’ve lost these past years. Now seeing the affect of high school and middle school.
I don’t think I like it very much.
This whole week was honestly a huge disappointment.
I thought it’d be over Friday but let’s make it a 2 week disappointment. Hopefully this week won’t be as shitty as last week. Preferably not shitty at all? (lol.)
But there’s benefits to having bad days, you’re not in muse to having great days, making great days even better.
4/20-
I actually did something with my hair today c: I’ve honestly been the laziest person ever this whole month and the month before as well. But I woke up to sunlight and I just felt totally revived. I love waking up to the sun! Definitely excited for summer! Summer mornings and nights are definitely THE BEST. Perf weather is perf. 85 degrees<3 BEYOND PERFECT TEMPERATURE.
I miss writing in my diary.
Just the feeling of writing your feelings on paper feels so much stress relieving then typing them out on the computer. But since the incident which happened last year, I’m very cautious of what to write. Then I was able to write all the shit i never said allowed and not worry if people saw it. When it actually happened, it made me feel scared. How do I express my feelings now. I guess having secrets is cliche now. I need to stop living in fear. My past does not control me anymore.
Guys always give up on trying to get to know me.
And I’m sick of it, I’m sick of guys and relationships. I don’t even need a guy to be happy. I know that’s what every girl thinks, that having a boyfriend will help solve every problems. There are other ways and I’m not saying this because I am single and guys seem to hate me(even though that’s true). If a guy doesn’t try to give my personality and flaws a try then why should I care about him. Some people just like to call it “playing hard to get”, I think of it as a challenge for the guys so us girls can see whether or not the guy is really committed to trying to get to know you. You see how weak and pathetically lazy the guy is when he just stops trying. If you really want to get to know a girl, tell her. If she plays hard to get, try harder. Girls like guys who try. It shows how strong they are without having to be able to play a sort or be abnormally fit, or having a massive cock. I honestly don’t care about any of that. A committed guy is right for me, all those other things are just extras. I’m not going to sit there and go for a guy like you, who just gives up on getting to know me after I show no interest in him. Like if you actually liked me then you’d try harder and not be such a wimpy twat and go for another girl in like a week.
Um, no thank you. Ignorant chode.
